My boyfriend shows his friends the picture of me napping… AND THEN THEY TELL HIM: You’re sprung (lol). YAY, I guess that means we’re on the same page. 0:)

I don’t like my robot boyfriend right now. He can’t even say good night back and just texts me to tell me how tired he is of studying. So much to complain about! >;(

It’s a bitch when my boyfriend has NO TOLERANCE for just about any other guy in my life. UGH WHAT AM I TO DO…. THE LAB PARTNER JUST CALLED ME while drunk for no reason. I must end this now. No more male friends for me.

I think what may be one of the greatest reasons why I’m so attracted to this BOYfriend of mine is because I can’t see through him. I can’t… He’s an enigma… That’s the type I like. Other guys who’s intentions I can see and can predict/understand immediately are just not interesting and don’t hold my attention for long. The kind of boy that does not have his heart all into romance, but invests in greater passions and ambitions know how to win my heart. :D

I can’t waittttttttttt til school starts. Gosh, now I feel that I can take on more commitments beside work and a relationship. I’ve been getting really angry with him lately but then the next day, I’d be totally head over heels. I don’t know why I get so bipolar sometimes. I don’t know. But the moment everything was tumbling down with my life… the family issues, the social living issue, career, and the housing issues, and the schedule issue … It was a lotta stuff that was breaking me. It’s not as easy as it looks but things that don’t kill me could only make me stronger. I took it all out on the poor boy the other day, and we almost ended it. Just because he brought up breaking up and then said ‘…but I don’t want to break up.” HE SAVED IT!!!! by saying that or else I would’ve just shrugged yes. I particularly blamed him for not there for me when I’m so lost and stressed. But I’m wrong, he cares for me in ways that he is capable of… just not quite how I imagine it in my head. So the next night, I just imagined my life without him… then I realize that he WAS there for me, in fact… Wanted to visit me in the hospital… Offered ears to listen to my problems even though he doesn’t know what to say… But the issue was that I just felt I couldn’t lean on his shoulders to cry when I need someone… Now that I blew up on him, I think I’ll just try to communicate to him in a different way so that he understands me better. (In a way where I don’t let BS build up and blow up in his face lol) He must really think this rough time is making me ‘emotionally unstable’ or the ‘drama queen’ type of girl he’s trying to “stay away from”.. Lol. Well, he’s not that bad… and he WAS there for me through all the bullshit (AND I MEAN BULLSHIT) that other people can’t handle. That’s enough for me to realize I want him in my life foreverrrr. He accepted me at my worst. :’) So, he deserves better and I can be better.

WORK IS SOOO ExHAUSTINGGGGGGGGGGG. :( I’m not sure if my boss likes me, I mean, she’s only like a year older than me… Plus, my coworkers are nice and stuff I guess… two that don’t talk much and the other two flirt with me too much. SIGH :( They want me to work too many hours that I can’t afford because of my schooling. BOO :( I do enjoy the setting and the environment a lot. Making boba isn’t all that easy. It takes some training and experience, but I’m pretty much getting it down. I just have to start getting used to this hectic schedule. School is still my number one. Plus, I don’t have time to hang out with anyone, including my boyfriend because he’s busy too. Two busy people that don’t have time for each other… Woah. I don’t know about that. And then, I get so stressed at night, but I hope I can pay the bills at least. I’ll just suck it up and man-handle it. I GUESS. SOML right now.

I wonder if people are taking my acute friendliness the wrong way. MY LAB PARTNER, for instance. Well, hmmm why does he keep asking me how was work and about life? Right now he just told me “complain and I’ll listen” and “good night sweet dreams.” O.O But gentlemen like him don’t hit on girls like that. >:O Well, I’m not sure how to hint to guys that I have a boyfriend without saying “MY BOYFRIEND…” did this or did that! Won’t my boyfriend just get me a promise ring or something? (Like a faux-engagement ring… LOL) I just don’t wanna hurt feelings if people are interested because I unintentionally was nice.

The awkward moment when a guy in the car next to you checks you out… And later your boyfriend realizes that guy is his friend and yells out to greet the dude. And the extra awkward moment when that guy texts your boyfriend asking who you were. The final awkward moment when your boyfriend says you’re his girlfriend and the guy says you’re a “good pick.” And your boyfriend tells you his friend is saying you’re pretty basically. :} Lol take that, boyfriend.
I like indirect compliments. :)

I’d like to think I’m one hilarious motherfcker. BUT, my boyfriend insists otherwise. Last week he told me — I can’t tell if it’s a joke anymore —that I’m not funny. That’s stupid; he’s not that funny either. I think I lost my humor and sexiness being with him. Although I can’t complain about how much more goal-oriented and innocent I have become. Still, I always thought I would date a funny guy. Well, he’s funny, but it’s not enough… A lot of my jokes fly over his head…. Why… Humor is so important… if I was to make a living off of scratch, I would become a comedian. I’ve got that glint in my eye. >:(

So when I couldn’t take it no more, he steps in and shares the pain with me, figuratively of course. Communication almost solves everything. Why do I have the urge to keep building walls and burning bridges for the sake of my distrust in someone else, when I don’t even give them a chance to explain? I tend to assume and that just might be the core of my (remaining) immaturity.

On another note, I’m really glad my boyfriend barely has any clue I have a tumblr. I finally talked to him about running a blog, and apparently he doesn’t need to blog about his “feelings” or really talk about it for that matter. UM, TURN ON.

It’s humorous and super adorable when my boyfriend gets jealous of my guy friends, or just when I hang out with them later in the evening. So, he always slightly insinuates that I not kick it with them. Little does he know, just about more than half my friends are guys. Deep down, I have these boy-ish hobbies. Not to say I’m not feminine (I think I am), but uh… I enjoy shooting guns with my bro’s, and climbing walls, and watching the UFC matches, etc……….. LOL I like those kind of adventures (sometimes more than our usual girl sport — SHOPPING).

Dream 7.12.12 | I don’t have conscious problems, I think just subconscious ones… I woke up today tearing because my mother was somehow cock-blocking me in my dream and I refused to see my boyfriend. And I guess it was really sad that I started crying in the dream, and I woke up with really wet eyes.