I love my boyfriend. He treats me like a QUEEN. He buys me this he buys me that and that isn’t all very necessary. Although he tries to do that to put a smile on my face, what makes me fall harder every time is how he puts his ego aside every time and apologizes even when I am the wrong one. Although I hate to admit it, it is very comforting to know that he semi-loves-me-unconditionally. I try hard not to pick fights in relationship but I don’t know sometimes my moods are just whack. I have never seen anyone put in so much effort… and seriously, so much effort…Awh I’m a lucky girl. Lets go down memory lane… He said he loved me the first time we hung out. Three days later he asked me out. On Valentine’s day this year, (of the 3 total relationships I have been or am in) I received flowers for the very first time.Then, every month or so of our still-quite-noob-and-short-but -quite-fairytale-like relationship, he spoils me with something or writes me a long letter confessing his undying love for me. It’s some serous cheesy and hopeless romantic stuff, but I love every bit of it. This is a girl’s dream come true, you know. And then, four months and a little more, he puts a promise ring on my left index finger. It is a beautiful golden eternity band from Coach circled with Swarvoski crystals that probably shine brighter than diamonds. Aha. He tells me there’s more to come… but honestly, one is enough. I am not a very materialistic girl. I always wanted a quality ring for accessory purposes, but this is sentimental and holds an infinity times more value. When I take it off, I know it breaks his heart so I won’t take it off no more. He talks about the future with me every day, and promises to make me his wife one day in the not -too-distant future. Ahah, how so very cute. I think I’m in love. I know that with every relationship, your faith in love lessens… Well, for me that’s what it was. But I don’t think that should be the case anymore. I have found the boy that treats me so right and loves me like there’s no tomorrow. He puts me first and makes me his life, and I see it with my very own eyes. He gives me all that I need and more than what I need actually aha, so I shouldn’t even be complaining. I love him. I must accept that no one else can have my heart, but him.

So as convincing as I was this morning, I think I might be turning into one of those stupid, sensitive, about-to-turn-clingy girlfriends. He texts me in the morning for our special day; I was happy. Then, nine hours later, nothing. I don’t know if I’m being selfish and wanting more, but that’s simply not enough communication for me DESPITE all that shit he has to do at school and work and home. Fuck. I’m pissed. Now that I think about it, I cannot, repeat cannot, marry a doctor in the future. I have this intuition all of my needs will be neglected, whether I am independent or not, it’s going to turn bad. I’ve heard stories where women marry their doctor husbands, then divorce them because they are continually on-call, and neglect their family because they just can’t have the time. It’s not even their fault. Regardless, to put myself in that type of situation will cause me suffering. I don’t know if I deserve that. So. Be. It. Right now, I’m at the peak of leading a healthy, physically-active, career-oriented life. I’ll have my emotions fucked over, but in the end, it’s the achievements that matter. So what is wrong now, won’t matter, because it’s mind over matter. 

My boyfriend shows his friends the picture of me napping… AND THEN THEY TELL HIM: You’re sprung (lol). YAY, I guess that means we’re on the same page. 0:)

I think what may be one of the greatest reasons why I’m so attracted to this BOYfriend of mine is because I can’t see through him. I can’t… He’s an enigma… That’s the type I like. Other guys who’s intentions I can see and can predict/understand immediately are just not interesting and don’t hold my attention for long. The kind of boy that does not have his heart all into romance, but invests in greater passions and ambitions know how to win my heart. :D

I wonder if people are taking my acute friendliness the wrong way. MY LAB PARTNER, for instance. Well, hmmm why does he keep asking me how was work and about life? Right now he just told me “complain and I’ll listen” and “good night sweet dreams.” O.O But gentlemen like him don’t hit on girls like that. >:O Well, I’m not sure how to hint to guys that I have a boyfriend without saying “MY BOYFRIEND…” did this or did that! Won’t my boyfriend just get me a promise ring or something? (Like a faux-engagement ring… LOL) I just don’t wanna hurt feelings if people are interested because I unintentionally was nice.

I’ve been kinda in love for about 3 months and 4 days now. (He pointed that out, today. Heheh.) I sometimes wonder when he’ll say those three words, but I’m not all that eager to hear it. I can see him saying it through the things he does for me; the way he tries his best to be there for me when I’m in need, when he kisses my forehead and tummy, and when he cheers me up when I’m cranky, when he sings to me (the Tarzan song) to stop me from crying, when he tells me I’m beautiful every time he sees me, makes me feel on top of the world. I’m so lucky, and he knows he is too. Lol. :’) Wish I could do more for him. Despite the ups and downs we have from time to time, he makes my life so complete.

:’)

He eats in small pieces. I noticed that the last time I made him a delicious omelette-du-fromage (lol) at 5AM in the morning. I think he wants our relationship to bloom— in small pieces. I see how it is. 

He’s falling…. in love… and is taking me down with him…. :o

Technically, things aren’t really technical until you verbally establish that. Like with my “boyfriend;” he says “ur mine!” but that doesn’t quite insinuate much. For me to be officially in a ‘relationship,’ I need to establish this directly in person… I dislike texting things because it’s meaningless to me. In person, an individual has no front and it’s a new layer of honesty. I need that honesty, honestly.